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I've got two great friends, Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, who are two of the world's pre-eminent experts on relationships. They have a new program called, "The Relationship Solution" they recently sent me to review.
I loved it!
On the first CD, Gay and Kathlyn talked about something that had a lot of impact on me and my wife, and I thought I'd share it with you in this article.
In the CD they talked about how important it is for the health of a relationship that both members in a couple have a strong creative outlet, a way of consistently expressing their creativity. They explained that if both members aren't able to satisfy their need for creative expression, problems will ultimately result in the relationship.
I never paid a lot of attention in the past to the need for creative expression because my work gives me a huge outlet for that, and always has. But I never thought about it before in the context of healthy relationships in general, or about me and my wife in specific.
So, I started talking to my wife about it and we had an amazing realization. What was it? That while I have a strong creative outlet through my work, and while my wife used to have a strong creative outlet when she used to own and run her own yoga, her ability to express her creativity after we had our two kids had shrunk to nearly nothing - and she wasn't as happy as she once was as a result.
After we had our second child, Aidan, my wife Cecily sold her yoga studio and took on the role of "full-time Mom." As she did that, she put many of her own wants and needs on the back-burner so she could be the best Mom possible.
The really interesting thing is that neither of us really thought about how much had changed for her.
While part of her started feeling frustrated and she clearly wasn't as happy as she once was, she never actually defined "the problem" as relating to the lack of creative expression, and therefore, it didn't occur to her to do anything to correct that specific problem.
Fortunately, our relationship didn't suffer seriously from this dynamic, and thanks to Gay and Kathlyn, we caught it before any serious problems could surface.
As much as we love each other, and as good as we are together, we absolutely would have had problems if that dynamic had continued.
Cecily and I sat down and started brainstorming ways she could get her creative juices flowing again while still being the best Mom she could possibly be. We came up with a lot of ideas that Cecily is now pursuing. While she doesn't want the burden of owning and running a yoga studio again, she started teaching yoga classes again at a local studio. She helped form what she calls a "Goddess Group" with a bunch of other women in Charlottesville where we live. She's working on a major gardening, landscape, and child's play area project on the grounds of our home. She's looking again at an Internet-based business she semi-started a few years ago to see if and how she might develop it further.
And she has a keen eye on continuing to allow her creative energy to flow freely and consistently. We both understand the importance of this dynamic now!
Now, I'm sharing this with you for 2 reasons:
1) If you're in a relationship, this is something you must pay attention to. Do both of you have strong creative outlets? Are they big enough to satisfy you?
If so, great. If not, take a serious look at the critical importance of creative expression and start to make changes as quickly as possible. You can take baby steps before you walk and then run, but keep your own keen eye on the ball.
2) If you're single, it's still critical for your overall happiness and success in life to have a strong creative outlet. Do you have one? Is it big enough to satisfy you? If so, great. If not, take a serious look at the critical importance of creative expression and start to make changes as quickly as possible. You too take baby steps before you walk and then run, and keep your own keen eye on the ball.
This is important stuff and I hope you'll treat it as such!
By the way, if you want to get a copy of Gay and Kathlyn's "The Relationship Solution" program, which I STRONGLY recommend, click on the following link:
CLICK HERE
--Bob Scheinfeld
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